story behind this video will toast the hell outta your heart cockles (no
Hahaha, oh! Alright, alright, settle down.
It was June
of 2000, and the Six were burned out on fame. The runaway success of their
HBO special and live fetish show Dante's Inferno-a-GO-GO with Tony
Orlando’ had blown their collective artistic wad in one brilliant
shot. All six had been through Betty Ford, Baywatch, and Bellevue so often
that they earned a season pass. The ideas for follow-up material just
weren't flowing. The countdown to "Has-Been" had begun.
day the circus came to town. Filling the air with a smell that rolled
greasepaint, cotton candy, and equine abuse into one nostril-flaring mélange,
it caught the attention of a certain Six Character named Jim. Zoned out
on roofies and slumped in the doorway of HoJo’s, the bright colors
and jolly sounds of the big top promised joy, escape, and perhaps a connection
for horse tranquillizer. Little did he know it would also be the birth
of Six Characters, Mach II.
the circus that day from a nosebleed seat behind the flying monkey cage.
He was instantly inspired by what he saw, and rushed back to the Six Characters
compound with pages and pages of riotous material in his head. Unfortunately,
he was hit by a bus on the way there, and after months of physical therapy,
the only ideas that remained were locked cryptically in the words "Sparkle,"
"Wagon," "Bunny," and "Haheynou-mormogatch."
But from those nonsensical utterances, the other five characters constructed
a storyline that charmed the pants off the world and paid tribute to their
brave, jittery comrade, whose ambitions in life had been scaled back to
match his motor skills. They filled the script with the things Jim loved:
babies, bunnies, open-mouth kissing, cleavage, cream pies, and mushy bananas.
They also added a touching tribute to his former glory to the end of the
piece, where the baby rolls over the words "Super-Conductors"
written in chalk. Re-arranged, those letters spell out “Ahoy there,
Captain Jim; you’ll always be our anchor.”
The following year, Jim experienced a full recovery and
angrily told the world, in a live televised press conference, that his
ideas for the piece had been misinterpreted. He sued the other five characters
for the loss of his artistic credibility and won. The resulting award
of $1.68 paid for a box of peeps that choked Jim and returned him to a
vegetative state. His aesthetic interests have since returned to pies
and bananas, thereby restoring the miraculous synthesis of minds that
is Six Characters.