the Stones sang, Ya know it don’t come easy they could have
been referring to cess-pool backflow. But they could just as easily have
been talking about one character’s journey from Wild-Man to Styled-Man,
from naïve man-child to catnip for the ladies. Such was the journey
of Seth, as he prepared for what would be become the role of his career,
and establish him as one of the greatest poseur-heroes of our generation.
of Kung Fu Seth is in what you don’t see on the screen: the
meticulous attention to detail paid by our team of art directors as they
perfected the perfect ‘unpaid grumpy actor’ world inhabited
by the Six; the hours of research put in by the "Bushmen" (as
we affectionately called the hairstylists) to capture the effortless 70s
élan of Kung Fu Seth’s post-dojo hair; and the years of grueling
preparation Seth voluntarily endured in the service of bringing Kung Fu
Seth to life.
the other Characters, was a student of the Laide-Grimace Acting Method
developed in Jambon, France, during the Self-Torture movement of the 1920s.
Its philosophy, simply put, was that in order to approach a role, an actor
must starve himself for 40 days in an airtight box, lined with poison
monkey fangs. If he survives, rehearsals may begin. But Seth, no stranger
to hard work, took his art several big floppy-shoed steps further. To
penetrate the chaotic mind of the primitive ênfant-térrible
that the other five purchase on eBay, Seth lived in an abandoned mini-fridge
on the roof of the Six Characters high-rise, surrounded by blood-thirsty
Nielsen ratings. He ate only raw eggs and rhino jerky delivered by catapult
from across the Canadian border. He gained 60 pounds, then lost 83, then
gained 4, lost 40, then changed his name to Gossamer Windex. To arouse
the rage inherent in the pre-dojo character, Seth dressed in a sandpaper
thong and tattooed the likeness of David Spade on the insides of his eyelids.
The transformation into Kung Fu Seth was effected through round-the-clock
exposure to synthetics and disco Beethoven. Meanwhile, the rest of the
Six Characters prepared for their roles in the piece by embarking on a
strict regimen of pot, iced coffee, and Stanley Tucci films.
Due to the
rigorous dedication of all the Six Characters, the Kung Fu shoot moved
like a well-oiled machine. Video Director John DesRoches was heard to
say, “Seth may be the most powerful actor ever to fog my lens. He
can jump really high and his tendons are so eloquent. If Tony Little ever
makes it to the big screen, I want him in a buddy flick with Seth. Bigtime.”