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Enter the Seth
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When the Stones sang, Ya know it don’t come easy they could have been referring to cess-pool backflow. But they could just as easily have been talking about one character’s journey from Wild-Man to Styled-Man, from naïve man-child to catnip for the ladies. Such was the journey of Seth, as he prepared for what would be become the role of his career, and establish him as one of the greatest poseur-heroes of our generation.

The genius of Kung Fu Seth is in what you don’t see on the screen: the meticulous attention to detail paid by our team of art directors as they perfected the perfect ‘unpaid grumpy actor’ world inhabited by the Six; the hours of research put in by the "Bushmen" (as we affectionately called the hairstylists) to capture the effortless 70s élan of Kung Fu Seth’s post-dojo hair; and the years of grueling preparation Seth voluntarily endured in the service of bringing Kung Fu Seth to life.

Seth, like the other Characters, was a student of the Laide-Grimace Acting Method developed in Jambon, France, during the Self-Torture movement of the 1920s. Its philosophy, simply put, was that in order to approach a role, an actor must starve himself for 40 days in an airtight box, lined with poison monkey fangs. If he survives, rehearsals may begin. But Seth, no stranger to hard work, took his art several big floppy-shoed steps further. To penetrate the chaotic mind of the primitive ênfant-térrible that the other five purchase on eBay, Seth lived in an abandoned mini-fridge on the roof of the Six Characters high-rise, surrounded by blood-thirsty Nielsen ratings. He ate only raw eggs and rhino jerky delivered by catapult from across the Canadian border. He gained 60 pounds, then lost 83, then gained 4, lost 40, then changed his name to Gossamer Windex. To arouse the rage inherent in the pre-dojo character, Seth dressed in a sandpaper thong and tattooed the likeness of David Spade on the insides of his eyelids. The transformation into Kung Fu Seth was effected through round-the-clock exposure to synthetics and disco Beethoven. Meanwhile, the rest of the Six Characters prepared for their roles in the piece by embarking on a strict regimen of pot, iced coffee, and Stanley Tucci films.

Due to the rigorous dedication of all the Six Characters, the Kung Fu shoot moved like a well-oiled machine. Video Director John DesRoches was heard to say, “Seth may be the most powerful actor ever to fog my lens. He can jump really high and his tendons are so eloquent. If Tony Little ever makes it to the big screen, I want him in a buddy flick with Seth. Bigtime.”

Copyright © 2005 Six Characters.

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